


Darth Vaders Birthday Party

by shipping_ruined_my_life



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Birthday Party, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Cringe, Gen, Grumpy Old Men, Humor, Surprise Party
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-10
Updated: 2021-03-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 10:01:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,123
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29964681
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shipping_ruined_my_life/pseuds/shipping_ruined_my_life
Summary: Palpatine surprises Vader on his 40th birthday.
Kudos: 5





	Darth Vaders Birthday Party

**Author's Note:**

> Ok so I apologize in advance and I hope you cringe while reading this. I just couldn't let go of the fact that Anakin became Vader at 22? he's so young. who would put a 22y/o in charge or anything especially an entire military operation? your pal, friendpatine! that's who!

This morning he had a weird hunch that something was going to happen, which in itself was not unusual, but there was no ill intent he could decipher. Nor were there any plotting in in the vicinity. He did have a tendency to skim the surface thoughts of people nearby but it was more an unconscious effort these days.

So he shrugged and went about his day.

"Captain, report." Vader demanded as he stepped on the bridge. He looked at the clock on the display board that shone with neon digits. 06.00 GST. Just in time for a shift change, and if anything had happened during the night shift the Captain would be the one to talk to.

"My Lord!" the captain exclaimed and quickly turned to his commander. His back was just a bit straighter than usual. "The probes we've sent out have not yet returned. Five of them seem to have lost signal, most likely destroyed. We're tracking their last known destination right now, results in fifteen to twenty minutes."

"And what of the rebel cells we're tracking?"

"The last one was abandoned when we got there, my Lord. Can't say for how long exactly, but at least a week. The shuttles were unloaded about three hours ago, crew resting. The data is being processed as we speak, there are reports sent to your data-pad, my lord."

"The death star?" Vader said with a hint of humor. No reports save the usual complacent "we're working on it" ever made it to the destroyer.

"Grand Moff Tarkin doesn't report to me, my Lord, as you are well aware."

"Well worth a try, Captain." Vader said with a sigh. "At ease, then. I suppose you need some rest. I'm sure the good Admiral Ozzel wouldn't mind commanding the bridge. His shift started five minutes ago."

Vader turned around to see the admiral walking towards them, cup of caf in hand. He looked a bit inattentive and had likely not noticed them yet. Mornings can be rough sometimes, but that's no excuse to show up late for a shift.

He sent out a chilling tension towards the admiral, who visibly cringed. He had noticed them, then.

"My Lord." The Admiral said, inclining his head. "Captain."

"Admiral." Vader towered over them man. "I was under the impression that you were scheduled to be here at 06.00. Must have been something important to stop you from being here on time."

The Admiral very pointedly did not look at his caf and visibly decided to think on the spot.

"Yes, my Lord. I, uh, had some reports to look over. You know how it is."

Liar, thought Vader and squinted. Not that anyone could see it.

"Of course." He agreed coldly. "Dismissed, both of you."

After the brief update from the bridge he decided to read through the reports. It was far from his favorite thing to do but it needed to be done. And whoever made the reports follow this standard outline was clearly soft in the head. There was so much unnecessary text that could have been left out. Why couldn't they be more direct? What made them decided to write long, purposely complicated novels instead of just headlining the brief with important information. He had no desire to decipher every report just because they wanted to sound smart.

Nevertheless, he struggled through the reports.

He had found nothing of import from the documents but he wanted to see the gathered items for himself. He viewed the footage the ground patrols had recorded from the base. He made that a requirement a few years ago. He did find it easier to see for himself rather than rely on other peoples' memories and how attentive they were. Some people were more distracted by planet wildlife than the mission. Not very productive.

After lunch hours he went on to inspect what was left over from the shuttles. During his walk towards the hangar bay he was interrupted by a message on the intercom.

"Hello, this is your captain speaking. Will everyone gather in the grand hall in at 15.00 hours? We have an announcement from the Emperor."

His data pad pinged as well. The screen was obscured by a message from the emperor. "Be there." Was all it said, and Vader sighed to himself. If this was another long speech to improve morale and to stroke the emperor's ego he might just scream. It wouldn't be the first time they were forced to endure this.

Nevertheless.

He made the kilometer walk back to the helm, which was close to the hall. Lucky them that they announced it so that people had time to get there. The executor was a very long ship.

With ten minutes left until the announcement, he stood near the back. Other personnel milled in and gathered in small groups. Technicians, pilots, army, navy, maintenance, captains, ensigns, cooks, cleaners, even droids.

On the large white wall the symbol for the galactic empire shone bright.

Some trolleys were coming through the left door with… cake on them? What?

In all his years serving the Empire, Vader had never been forced to attend birthday parties. No one would have thought to throw an official one on his ship. The general rule allowed small ones in private quarters. This day was obviously the exception. He could not imagine for whom this would be. Last he knew the Emperor's birthday was sometime in summer, and a national holiday as well.

Cold sweat crept up his back as he came to a realization.

No.

No no no no no!

No one even knew when his birthday was! The jedi didn't celebrate birthdays, and the only way for someone to know was if they had read through his files. The files that should have been destroyed when the temple was seized by the emperor and repurposed.

The background on the wall disappeared and was replaced by a live holo of the Emperor. The Sith stood in a well-lit office and had a drink in hand. It made him look less evil than usual. Vader supposed he could be a deceptive old man when it suited him.

"Greetings, crew of the Executor! Welcome, welcome. Today we have a celebration in honor of our very own Supreme Commander, Darth Vade. He has been my loyal hand for eighteen years now. He has been instrumental to our success but today is not about his achievements. Darth Vader, will you step forward?"

The chancellor waved his hand forward as if to beckon him to the center of the room. Vader followed dutifully but made sure to not seem too eager. His long strides soon found him in place. The emperor had the cheek to angle spotlights on him. As though as he was not visible anyway. He crossed his arms.

"Today we celebrate his fortieth birthday!" he exclaimed with a boom. Confetti made its way down from the ceiling as Vader stood still in the flurry of color. Cold sweat was replaced by anger, but he kept it under wraps. He was mostly uncomfortable.

"I wish I could be with you all today but there are time sensitive matters at hand in the capitol. I'm sure you understand. I did send you a surprise, Vader. You may find it later in hangar seventeen. I'll be leaving now, but please enjoy yourselves." The emperor sent a strict directly at Vader. As if the old Sith knew he'd rather be anywhere else.

The emperor's holo was cut short and the background was back to the empire's logo. A soft starting tune of ´happy birthday´ played from the speakers and to his horror the whole room started to sing. Lucky for him he had his helmet to shield him from their incredulous gazes.

After a few cheers the worst of it was over and people went over to the cakes, caf, and alcohol to help themselves. Vader did his best to brush off residual confetti from his clothes and tried not to kill everyone as they walked at a respectable distance and wished him happy birthday. He felt his soul dying little by little.

In a clique by the walls some generals were doing some quick math's and were already talking about how young he was and how could they have followed orders from such a young commander for so long. What could he have known at 22? At 30? Everyone knew you could hardly make captain if you were under 35 at least, much less admiral, general or supreme commander. Most of the old men there were over sixty, and from the core. Vader was still considered young at fourty.

The bridge crew he worked most closely with made their way over to him. Three lieutenants wisely kept quiet but the captain from the morning, whatever his name was, couldn't help himself.

"It seems congratulations are in order, my Lord. Forgive me, I do not have a gift for you, I had no idea that it was your birthday today."

Vader felt his rage subside a bit but he still felt the residual embarrassment creeping up his neck and cheeks.

"I had not told anyone, Captain. It is as much of a surprise for me." He bit back as politely as he could.

"You do not celebrate, my Lord?"

"Not for many years." He admitted pensively. "I don't know how the emperor found out, but I guess it's out of the bag now." He was definitely not sulking.

"Well, in any case, it's a great excuse for a party." The captain raised his glass and the lieutenants echoed "hear, hear!"

"Hear, hear." More people echoed around them.

Other conversations filtered through as he thought about escaping the room. Some of them were focused on the present in the hangar. Obviously it had been seen, but no one had known who it was for. By the sounds of it he was going to have a beast of a starfighter to try out later. He didn't mind the spoilers.

He nodded along with them and thought about how to make an escape. The people parted around him as he tried to walk away from the center of the great hall. His only path from the floor was blocked by Admiral Ozzel. And some other old men. Fantastic.

"Ah, Lord Vader." His slimy voice dripped of condensation. "Our colleagues here were just wondering, understandable of course, how you managed to get the experience to command an entire fleet when you were so… young. You must have been twenty-two if I'm not incorrect?"

The other men hummed in agreement and Vader felt put on the spot. Damn Palpatine for putting him through this. There was a reason he didn't want to celebrate. His age in itself was his best argument of course but he just didn't like the attention.

"I was." He said curtly.

"Hardly out of school then?" General Tarkin asked, stone cold.

"I was a general during the clone wars." He supplied frostily. "And the Emporor recruited me personally."

"So you simply didn't attend school? Most people who attend army programs graduate at 20. Then there is the aspect of practical experience to consider as well. Even ensigns need at least eight months of training experience before they are moved off planet. Most need more time."

"I had personal training." He admitted, hoping to put an end to the inquisition.

"During the war?" admiral Ozzel butted in.

"Yes."

He hoped they could feel the glare even if they couldn't see it.

"Which you were a general in?"

A curt nod.

"Well, my Lord, this all sounds very fantastical, but are you sure you're not pulling a fast one on us?"

The rasp of the deep calming breath he took to quell his angry aura made the people around them a little nervous. Some stepped further away. Some stood exactly where they were, and continuously accusing him of lying.

"If you have a problem with my, ah, credentials, you are free to take the issue to the Emperor." Vader supplied coldly. He had had just about enough of the questioning and he felt his murderous desire bubble under his skin. And around him. Maybe the aura itself made an impression around them. He leaned in close to the Admiral and said quietly. "And as far as I recall there have been no issues the past 18 years I have held this position. If you do not wish to find yourself in a grave I suggest you stop digging."

"Gentlemen." He nodded to them and abruptly walked away from them. Let them talk. He had a present to open. He had a feeling it might be spaceship.

**Author's Note:**

> Let me know if you cringed! I did when I wrote this!


End file.
